Grateful to Be Alive

On May 26, 2016 a little after 4am, I and my fiancé, Chet, were woken up by the arching noise that sounded far away but very clear.  We noticed that the power went out a few seconds later.  We grabbed the flash lights, went to the basement, and saw the service panel popping glowing yellow light.

Chet used fire extinguisher but it did not help.  We called 911 & evacuated the house.  All I was thinking was that thank god we woke up and got out in time, even before the smoke alarm was set off.  I am forever grateful that we are alive, together, and leaning on each other.

In the meantime, every second felt like the eternity while we waited in the yard for the firefighters. 

There was nothing I can do.  Frantically seeking for any immediate relief, I opened the Arcturian Healing Vortex & called upon the Light Beings to assist in containing the fire. 

I am beyond thankful that firefighters arrived shortly.  However, the entire house was filled with black smoke with zero visibility by then.  They had to put on special breathing gears before they can go in.  The fire then went from the basement to the first floor through the wall. 

Watching my study devoured by the fire in disbelief, many thoughts went through my mind.  Is the fire my fault because I postponed the replacement of the electrical service panel?  Did I make the wrong decision to quit my high-pay corporate job now that I have to pay for extra expenses?  Is this a warning that I should not be doing spiritual and healing work?

Desperately, I connected with my Akashic Records & asked the Holders of the Akashic Light to help with keeping my sanity.  All I can do was suspending my thoughts on why this is happening and what is going to happen next.

It was like watching a movie but only that was happening to us for real.

Many thanks to the brave firefighters, the fire was put out.  The house is still standing but not habitable.  It will be at least four months before the house is restored.

During the first couple of days after the fire, I was in shock.  My ability to focus, comprehend, and express went down drastically even though I was functioning. 

My study was where I planned, strategized, wrote and dreamed.  Some of the most inspiring and sentimental items were on the desk.  They were all destroyed.

After settling down in the hotel, I needed to write down all the different tasks to handle.  I reached for my planner and remembered that my planner had been burned in the fire.  In that particular moment the reality kicked in and triggered my heart aching sobbing…  

Chet held me tightly while I cried saying “my planner is burned”, repeatedly.  What I really cried about was that it felt like my hope was gone…

While I understood intellectually that it was “just” a picture of my father, a clock engraved with his name or a mug from my stepdaughter and her husband for Mother’s Day, emotionally I still hurt.  I was heartbroken.

Many friends extended their hands, offered a place for me to continue my work, a place to live, and any other support if we need it.  Many practitioners offered me healing sessions and consultations.  I knew that I have to begin the healing with myself to sort things out before any help from others can be effective.

It was a Sunday, three days after the fire, which no work related to the fire can be done so I spent some time with myself.  Started with toning in my Akashic Records, I asked the toning master to bring me to a time where I can find strength to get through this. 

I then asked my Records to help me understand why the fire happened and what I can learn from this experience.  I ended the self-care with Arcturian Healing Vortex and asked Spiritual Beings to help me release chaotic emotions.

My emotions were too high to say the least to understand much information from my Akashic Records in the first session.  What I received was great comfort and understanding.  It felt like the Light Beings in my Records knew what I was going through.  They kept telling me that it is going to be all right.  

I did self-care again the next day on the Memorial Day.  In toning, I set intention to release human emotions of self-blame for the fire.  In my Akashic Records, I asked to understand how my actions caused or impacted the fire.  In the Arcturian healing session, I asked to see beyond human emotions.

I felt calmer after those two self-care sessions.  My friends and colleagues also did Healing and Akashic Records Consultations for me.  Those sessions provided such high vibration unconditional love and spiritual truth that helped me tremendously.  The outpouring support from all of my family, friends, and holistic community lifted me up so much more than I can verbalize.

At that point, I was grounded and centered enough to do multi-dimensional healing with Chet and help him recover.

7 days after the fire, I did a third self-care session listening to Tom Kenyon’s LightShip CD with intention to release self-imposed guilt.  I was shown that Arcturian Spiritual Beings lifted me up to a deep blue solitary and quiet space.  After 40 minutes of continuous weeping and howling, I felt light and peaceful.

Some people view this fire as an alert that doing what I love to do is not what god wants me to do.  My self-doubt, guilt and fear created that same thought when I watched the fire swallowed my study.

I am spiritual but not religious.  I believe in the divine, the source, and the universe that we are all part of.  Even though my important loved ones disagree, I know that I am fulfilling my purposes by doing what I love to do.  

True trust and faith are not built over smooth sailing in life.  Being on spiritual journey does not mean that we are exempt from ordinary life challenges.  Among other emergency items after the fire, I grabbed this book. Bought it a few months ago (recommended by a friend) but have not read it.

Every day I stared at the cover many times as I made phone calls to adjusters, Insurance Company, Restoration Company or compiled lists of questions, to-do, and items lost in the fire.  Words on the cover feel like a LifeVest while drowning in the ocean and keep me going every day.                                                 

So much insight and information from this experience came through already but I, the person, am not ready to integrate with it just yet.  My human side is vulnerable right now and still needs time to recover and accept.  For now, I am allowing my emotions to take time to process and eventually become more stabilized.   

Compared to people who suffered worse than our situation, I am truly grateful that Chet & I still have each other.  We have some good days and some bad days but we are holding all right.

Finally, thank you, thank you, and thank you, for all of your love and support!  I will rise again, I know.