It seemed surreal that I finally got to sleep in my own bed in my own home 17 months after the house fire. Weeks and months later of setting up my new space, I gave myself the permission to sit down sipping wine. As I admired this gorgeous glass, I could not help thinking how far a long way I have come!
Before I got married, I was wild, curious, and brave. My parents raised me as a well-educated and independent young woman. I knew what I wanted and reached my goals. I was on top of the world on all counts from all social standards.
💜💜💜 But I did not know that things in my marriage were not normal.
Things like my husband did not allow me to buy a $10 serving plate when I invited my co-workers over for dinner.
Things like my husband insisted that I had to cancel my ticket to “Phantom of the Opera”, took his sister to Manhattan for that show, sat in nearby fast food place waiting for her, and took her back to our home after the show.
Things like my husband insisted that I had to drive myself to the airport for business trips while everyone else was taken by the company’s limo.
I did not know this was not normal. I was so fearful that I did not want to hear the opinions of my co-workers who were very concerned about my well-being.
I was in a mentally and emotionally abusive marriage without knowing it for 17 years.
💜💜💜 All these happened while I was making excellent money and successful at my job as an actuary!
So how did I buy my first set of wine glasses when I could not even use my own money back then without my husband’s permission?
I remember it all so well just like yesterday. Debbie, who was my co-worker at the time and has grown like a sister to me since then, took me to Pier One when they had a big holiday sale. I immediately fell in love with these wine glasses. I bought them with some cash on hand and lied to my husband that one of my staff gifted them to me as a Christmas present.
That was how I bought these wine glasses. I had to lie using my own money.
Then I got a wakeup call.
It was over a decade since I last saw my family so I finally coughed up the courage and told my husband that I wanted to see my family in Taiwan. He insisted that I buy a $300 cheaper flight ticket with an overnight connection. He told me that I can sleep in the airport terminal instead of checking in an airport hotel.
💜💜💜 That was when I realized that this man did not value my safety and life at all.
At that point, I knew I was going to find out how to walk out that situation and I did.
💜💜💜 FINDING ME AGAIN after the divorce was a daunting task. My emotions were numb. My heart was frozen. I was buried under piles of fears, low self-worth, shame, guilt, and disbelief.
It was 12 years in the making that I took myself on the journey of healing and finding my heart again.
How did I get myself into such a horrible situation when I was intelligent and successful in my career? How was I going to face the world again feeling like a total failure in life?
What was I going to say when people ask me about my marriage status? I was so ashamed for what happened.
It was a very strange feeling as if I could not forgive myself for getting into such a mess!!! How I could be so blind - I thought…
Then the biggest questions of all –
💜💜💜 Who am I?
💜💜💜 What do I want?
💜💜💜 Where do I go from here?
💜💜💜 How do I stop the shame?
💜💜💜 Where do I fit in the world?
💜💜💜 How do I rebuild my personal life?
💜💜💜How do I find out WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If any part of the above sounds familiar to you. I can help you find your way again!
It took me years to see that the horrible marriage was the catalyst that pushed me to search and transform through compassion, courage, and trust.
It took me years to understand that there is nothing wrong with me. I am perfect just the way I am.
It took me years to know that my ex-husband was a teacher in my life. He offered the opportunity for me to learn about my self-worth so I would eventually seek the power within my heart.
As humans, there is no stopping on learning as long as we are alive! I still have tons to learn about myself on this journey to my heart.
Nevertheless, with all the tools that I have learned, I am able to pick myself up, accept me as who I am, speak my truth, reclaim my birth name, and live the life I love.
I found the power within and left corporate America to pursue my passion of helping people.
While withstanding many personal losses including a house fire in the last 2 years, I followed my heart and wrote an international bestseller "Your Key to the Akashic Records" to spread the Light.
I would love to share with you what I have learned and all the tools that have helped me FIND ME AGAIN!
💜💜💜 Would you like to feel your heart full of love and emotions healthy and vibrant?
💜💜💜 Would you like to overcome challenges that you do not think possible?
💜💜💜 Would you like to know what you are passionate about, what you want, and most importantly WHO YOU ARE?
💜💜💜 Yearn to connect with your heart?
I can help!!!
I will be honest that the journey to your heart requires healing and work. After all, we typically hide behind fears for many years leading to this critical point that you are facing now.
All my clients and students are able to connect with their hearts and move forward in life with valuable tools guiding their way. The effort is totally worth it!
If you are committed to getting to know yourself again and not afraid of doing some work, I can help you get there!
Set up a COMPLIMENTARY discussion with me to find out how you can get there!